Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

30 Day Letter Challenge
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

To He Who Must Not Be Named,

I haven't seen or heard from you in about 6 years, and I still have nightmares about you. I still get scared when I see someone who looks like you. I am afraid to go visit my home town, for fear you will find me and hurt me. You inflicted the deepest, most violent kind of pain without ever touching me. I wish you would have. I wished so bad that I had bruises instead of memories, because then maybe people would believe me. You don't know what it's like to be mentally abused, and to have everyone call you a liar. To carry the burden of all your disgusting, vile words and actions, all while getting everyone you knew to think I was a slutty, diseased, lying piece of garbage. To have my friends turn against me because of the lies you told them. They way you followed me, through school, through town, online...I couldn't get away. I can't imagine how many people there are who still don't know the truth, who still believe everything you said.

It was ironic, how you always made up stories about me, doing the very things YOU were doing. You would threaten me, and then tell everyone I did it to you. You would cheat on me, and tell everyone I cheated on you. You slept with so many girls, and then told everyone I was a whore. I don't know what it is about you, but you are an accomplished liar. I believed you. Even with everyone I knew telling me everything you had done, I didn't believe it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because no one had ever cared for me before. Boys didn't like me. I didn't want to lose having someone who wanted me around. Who thought I was pretty.

Once I sat back and really thought about it, I realized how much of what you said couldn't have been true. Where you lived, where you went to school, your family life, sex life, drug use, even making up a story about a dead friend to get pity. But you solved that problem, didn't you? By dating a girl with cancer. See, you killed two birds with one stone...you knew she would sleep with you because she was a virgin and she was dying, and then when she died, you could make future girlfriends feel bad for you by talking about her. You would deny it, but I knew you. I really, truly, honestly believe that you have no conscience whatsoever. You are a monster. I am happily married to a man that I love, with two beautiful children, and I still can't stop worrying that you will come find me and hurt me somehow. It is scary to think that you could hurt someone so bad at a mere 16 years of age.

I don't ever want to see you or speak to you again, for the rest of my life. I don't want to confront you, I have nothing to say to you. I know that you have no feelings and will never change. I've written lots of things like this, so I know it won't change me later. This is the topic for day 7, and I'm just following the rules...

No comments:

Post a Comment